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Forty miles southeast of Ypres even the sky begins to bleed. It’s like the first bursts of shrapnel from the Great War have torn open the bellies of the clouds. Davies says I’m being a poet, and I’m supposed to be taking care of Matheson. A few miles back, somewhere along the zig-zag of the French-Belgian border, the five of us ran into an errant Hauptmann at a captured French radio tower. The officer plugged Matheson in the gut before we shot him down... (read the rest)
Santa is drunk and the kids are restless. It's ten o'clock in the morning, and we already have a dozen visitors. No one has caught on yet, but Jerry, a forty-something sack of sorry with his jolly suit askew, will hardly be enough to convince the Christmas mob that Santa Claus has come to Blue Ridge, Texas. There will be screams for blood, and I, an ethnic elf draped in candy-cane green, will not be enough to satisfy them.
“Get out of the suit,” I tell him... (read the rest)
Rachel wants us to get out before Montréal gets worse. The banks left five years ago and took the city’s money. Rioters chased police out. Even the Hell’s Angels didn’t want to pick over the scraps, so it was just locals and dealers until Immy came along. He stepped in with a posse and a heap of narcotics. Got half the city addicted to his new brew. Immy's Shinepowder, Immy’s Slowsilver, Immy's Skullbright. He became a household name overnight... (read the rest)
When I was eleven I tried to sell my little sister so I could buy a moustache from Buckley's Magician Catalogue. I took her to the general store to look at penny candy while I talked to the shopkeep. He gaped when I said I was selling my sister, but then he gave a sly smile and said he'd get “manufacturer's consent.” I didn't know what that meant so I told him fifty cents was all I needed... (read the rest)
The most meaningful talks John ever had were with the toilet at the Genthouse Bar. There were three unisex bathrooms there, each with a toilet, sink, and mirror, but John usually went to the third.
His first conversation began as a confession.
“I shouldn't have done that,” he announced to the toilet... (read the rest)